1. Minnesota has a horizon, not just a bunch of silly mountains.
2. In Minnesota, they don't commit crimes en masse when the stupid hockey team loses.
3. In Minnesota, hockey is fun and religion is confined to church.
4. In Minnesota, people say "hi" when you look at them.
5. High-school kids in Minnesota don't think marijuana is salad.
6. Minnesota fans are happy to make the acquaintance of Canuck fans at Wild games. Canuck fans are sad that they might get in trouble if they pee on your pants as you stand at the urinal.
7. In Minnesota, there's not a starbucks every four blocks.
8. In Minnesota, six cans of beer aren't priced like six cans of caviar.