8 reasons why Minnesota is better than British Columbia

1. Minnesota has a horizon, not just a bunch of silly mountains.
2. In Minnesota, they don't commit crimes en masse when the stupid hockey team loses.
3. In Minnesota, hockey is fun and religion is confined to church.
4. In Minnesota, people say "hi" when you look at them.
5. High-school kids in Minnesota don't think marijuana is salad.
6. Minnesota fans are happy to make the acquaintance of Canuck fans at Wild games. Canuck fans are sad that they might get in trouble if they pee on your pants as you stand at the urinal.
7. In Minnesota, there's not a starbucks every four blocks.
8. In Minnesota, six cans of beer aren't priced like six cans of caviar.

Stupid fish.

I've never seen the English version of "Finding Nemo"; but in the Spanish version, at the climax of the story when everyone is stuck in the net and it seems all is lost, the absent-minded Dory says, "Nada haremos."
This means, "Nothing we will do." BUT, the verb "nadar"(to swim) when conjugated as "nadaremos" means, in the future tense, "We will swim." These two phrases sound so similar that a group misinterpretation occurs. Dory was giving up, but everyone else thought she was chanting, "Let's swim together." It created a storm of co-operation; changing everything for everybody involved.
Somehow this screwball approach to success sounds familiar to me. Perhaps I have to tell myself this, for I have been surrounded not only by spendid folks like the conductive types I've met since 2000; but also by a veritable HORDE of nay-sayers. I feel (occasionally) that I must be nuts; that something indeed very large and compelling is wrong with me for drifting along so loyally with conductive education.
Ought I to be doubting it, at last? Hasn't the time come for me to drop this tattered flag and tramp on back through the mud to my camp?
Sigh.
Well, let me think about it...heck no! The end result of Dory's ravings and the blind repetitions of the hopeless crowd was FREEDOM. Freedom is not a thing easily found these days, even though so many institutions are set up to look out for the Canadian family.
As an American by birth, freedom has been kind of cemented in my head. Cement though, does not birth freedom. That is best done with more pliable things: like whoopee cushions, songs for reaching up, and group cheers at every object tossed about the room.
It's too easy to see the net; but why look at that bureaucrap when the massive, swirling, pulsing ocean sprawls out around us at every side?