impatience, irreverence, and indestructibility?

I've been hoping, grinding, grumping, and whining for conductive education out here in the dampness since 2000. I've gone through many phases: nominal success, outright enthusiasm, serious hopefulness, abject despair, "back burnering", and tonnes of looking into the heavens as professionals roll their eyes and smile as they look through me. The only thing that has kept me going is meeting a handful of parents who, like me, have been encouraged by the few things they learn and continue to do only because of conductive education.
I'm at the place today where, despite myself and a thousands reasons to give it up, conductive education is still the only thing I can say is eminently useful for my son and me. It kind of pisses me off, that this one thing, this ONE THING is the only thing that seems impossible to get started out here. Maybe it's because I'm just a dorky Dad who has no time, and no expertise to do it myself. Maybe it's because the system is all locked up and resistant. Lord, some days I feel just rotten about it all. I ask myself, "Why bother?" Then I go to my boy, my gorgeous Bambo boy; and he grins and I ask him to stand up. I help him lean forward, and he's on his feet with that look on his face like he's going somewhere whether I'm ready or not. I see him happy to be stepping, looking over his shoulder as he stands at his wall ladder making sure that I'm looking; making sure that I see what we've gotten him into. . .and I know there's some sort of current under it all that seems to move this barge along.
It's not my boat. I just tried to bring one here. Heck, I've even had a school-board tell me they want to get it going in their system. So, I stumble and flop and wait by the muddy shore; trying to shove the barge into the water.
My little blog here is somewhat of a dream. There is no conductive education in B.C. beyond the private hours in the homes of families who can pay for the precious time. I'm quietly terrified that some well-organized body will come along and begin selling it like some magical answer at a great price, at ridiculous hours, in a proprietary platform made of bullshards.
I'm just a Dad at the bottom of it all. I have been privileged to have the support of the Purpose Society to arrange 11 CE sessions in the last 10 years. Granted, that's not much, but for a program that has no budget, a volunteer director, and no source of funding; it's not shabby. But who in the heck is satisfied with that? Ask the parents I know who are really pumped and impressed with what they have learned with their kids. It's only a taste. We need the steak. It's time for the potatoes, and I'll be damned if someone is going to turn it into some fancy gourmet dish. Just had to say that, I did.

Esta mañana regresé de México. .. .

A handicapped parking spot doesn't mean anything in México. I think I'd lose my mind if I lived there with my son. In this last week that I spent in Acapulco, I saw about 5 disabled folks in public. Three were begging, one was walking with an obvious situation of cerebral palsy; though well-dressed and very confident and on his way somewhere. The fifth was in her wheelchair and with her family. Just gets me thinking. . .

not dead yet!

Well, perhaps I'm delusional to think a group of parents raising "special kids" have time to form a new association. It's not going to happen. I am the best proof of it. In the last year, I have set all new projects aside to tend to home and hearth. Does that mean I've given up on CE? Of course not!! My boy and I still do our daily duties with his stretching, walking, moving, and playing.

I also try to remember what my financial advisor tells me, "Nothing good happens fast." Ha. How true. I am still working on things in my own backwards manner. Sigh.

Still here. . .

Our last blast of CE ended mid-August, and everything seems to have gone so quiet. Being a parent of a kid with CP kind of automatically shuts the whole world out anyway, but I'm holding out for bigger things to happen. Just want to say thanks to Lori-ann, Darcy, Deb, Nicole, and Roxy for reminding me that it's still worth pursuing. We're arranging a small "demo" of CE for a local school board. Even more importantly, there is a small group of parents who are standing up for CE, and they're not ashamed to say it!
I realize now more than ever, that none of us set out to be political; but the situation calls for it. When the professionals never ask about what this CE thing is, and years go by, and you're still wondering who is going to see what you're seeing for your child. Well, I guess we just gotta take it to them, in every sense of the phrase. It's time to set up a BC Conductive Education Association, or the art will never take root here. Parents have to coalesce, just a few to start. I can't do this any longer on my own.

Slap-tember! Turning the other cheek?

September has brought its school system down upon our heads again, and I'm betting I'm not the only parent of a kid with CP, or Autism, or Asperger's who is feeling the silence. We've had so many different types of clients this year. I'm feeling the need to apologize for being so focussed on cerebral palsy! It's what my son and I deal with, but wow; I can't even remember what some of our clients have been dealing with . . .corpus collosum?
It just goes to show that conductive education isn't "therapy," it's EDUCATION, and anyone with motivation and a healthy cheering section can learn in ways that will always surprise. I can't help but think about Annie Sullivan. Her name is forever synonymous with Helen Keller. Why? Neither one of them gave up. Helen was frustrated, Annie was persistent and the teacher never gave up on the child; never accepted that her work was finished because a good teacher is always an active student as well. Education is a pursuit, not a system. It's a game played for its own pleasure, for the discovery.
That's why a conductive classroom is built on that circle of ask, attempt, adjust, appreciate, and so on. . .it's a joy not only for the kids, but equally for the dedicated people who go through the process of expanding their envelope. Do you think Annie Sullivan wasn't practically beside herself with glee when Helen Keller hit her first epiphany? It's an amazing thing, and it shouldn't be a service that is sold at a high cost by some charitable organization. It should be a joyful chase through the everyday classrooms of "disabled" children; making them excited about each new day at school.
It's not like that, yet, in B.C. Imagine a kid running home excited about some new discovery, shoving open the door, and shouting, "Hey Mom! Guess what?" and hearing only silence! That's how a lot of us parents feel after six weeks of conductive education and we take our kids to school and say guess what?
There seems to be little guessing at schools. There are only assessments, and reports, and fear of insurance claims; fear of the raw potential of that child in the wheelchair. I can't even count the number of times I've asked my son's teachers to let him sit at a table with a bar on it for him to hold; their eyes glaze over when I make this request. Take him out of his __________? (insert piece of equipment here; it doesn't matter, each piece has enough straps and buckles to allow him to fall asleep in it.) They're not listening. They can't, and I don't know why.
Well, let me say as a Dad, my fear is that the wheelchair will swallow my son's ability to bear his weight forever. He can still stand and walk now, at age 10; only because a conductor cared enough to show me where his envelope was and how to walk along its edge; not tuck ourselves down inside and head for the lost letter office.
It's a lovely thing to help a child build their repertoire, and for a parent as well, to go on that journey of discovery with them. On the way, we learn more about ourselves.
Now more than ever it's important to not roll over and turn the other cheek; except perhaps to offer a Bronx cheer for those who think changing a diaper is about as good as it gets for our kids. Zsipp Zsupp!

Article in The Province, Sunday, 10 August

John Fuller from The Province was so kind as to publish my letter to him and send out a photographer to Purpose. I was hoping you'd see photos of Kurtis & Lori-ann, Isabel & Deb, and Elizabeth & Darcy; but there's only so much room in the papers I guess.

Here is the link to the article.
http://www.canada.com/theprovince/news/unwind/story.html?id=70853862-6f70-4bb3-a6d7-631b4b90a279&p=1,

Thanks to Andrew Sutton for reminding me how easy and effective it is to use the internet to help people connect.

Great job these past six months, Zsuzsanna Balogh. BEST CONDUCTOR EVER, we are going to miss her immensely.

Summer School? Yuck! Or not . . .

As a kid, the concept of "summer school" made me feel waves of nausea. Who in the world would want to be inside 5 days a week doing summer school? Especially with their kid? Essentially, a conductive summer "camp" is summer school. I was at the summer session today, sharing some time with the parents and kids there. It struck me as I was driving home that these parents don't have the haggard, "when is this over?" look on their faces. They looked like people who were content; people who were in the right place. I know the feeling, because the world doesn't go at our pace when there is a disabled child in the family. Nothing, nobody, and nowhere seems to have a clue what is required to build an environment for these kids; but a conductor can and she is doing a fine job of it.

Just watching their faces, I can see that these six trying weeks of conductive education have been worth it. They know the room, the pace, the activities are all custom built for their kids and that is a rare feeling for these parents. I can see it in their faces. I wouldn't say the price was worth it; even though we probably have the lowest cost for summer CE in Canada. No parent should have to pay this much for their kid to be in a productive, effective school setting.